So I quit smoking. -- A big accomplishment with huge mood-altering consequences, yes. But, quitting smoking is not the end of the world (as I have alluded to on my blog!) In fact it just dawned on me that even though I have stopped the deadly habit, it is still stealing pieces of my life because I am so consumed by not doing it!
The thing that motivated me to watch Pausch's interview (again) tonight, was an online conversation that I had with Matt Bushby, spouse of missing Manitoba woman, Claudette Osborne. Matt, whom I became friends with because of my IPP (Independent Professional Project), is one of the most positive people I've ever met. Throughout his ordeal, of losing his 'soul mate,' and raising his children without their mother, Matt has shown a great deal of positivity and strength.
(Which is why I decided to google Pausch; because Matt Bushby's attitude reminded me of Randy Pausch's.)
Tonight, during my online chat with Matt, he encouraged me to continue on with my battle to butt out. He reminded me that self-pity can be very self absorbing, and that I should want to quit more than anything, based on how strong my desire to continue to smoke is.
I was inspired.
As Matt and I chatted, he told me about the new challenge that Claudette's family is doing in honour of her. (Her mother and other family members are walking to Winnipeg from Norway House. -- That's almost 800 km -- To raise awareness about her and about the No Stone Unturned concert that is taking place at the Forks this Friday.)
Matt told me about how proud he was of Claudette's family, for taking this journey, and said that he will take part in the last leg of the walk from Ashern to Winnipeg.
Throughout our conversation, Matt maintained a positive attitude, articulating in a way that seemed unfathomable to me (based on what he and his family have been through...)
And then he said something that was so profound to me; after I told him that I liked his attitude and his take on life (especially since his life has been extremely difficult since Claudette went missing.) He said:
"I will never, I think, not feel pain and frustration on how the last few years (of my life) have gone, but I won't let it ruin me either."
After he said that I felt like a big baby! -- Here I am feeling utterly and completely sorry for myself because I can't smoke, and Matt was comforting me! He's found a sort of peace with his life-situation that is a bazillion times more upsetting than mine. (I lost my cigarettes and he lost his wife! There isn't even a comparison there...)
Today, I am going to make a conscious effort to stop complaining about my life and about quitting smoking. It's time for me to snap out of it.