Tuesday, July 27, 2010

My grade seven humiliation (Re-post circa the mid-2000s)

Old-school Shelley Circa early 1990s. Hotness.

Okay, for those of you have read my blogs since I started them all those years ago, this story is an old one (but a GOOD one none the less...)

Before I tell it, I feel as though I must offer up some sort of introduction to my moment of junior high humiliation. -- You see, when I was in grade seven, I was one of those kids that wanted so badly to fit in. The only problem was that I wasn't cool.

I was quite the opposite.

I was a chubby kid, who wore bright red lipstick (with no other makeup to contrast the offensive color of my crimson lips) I had frizzy brown hair and wore hand-me-downs from my older sister, or from anyone that would send over a bag of clothes that their kids had grown out of, or just didn't like anymore. (Shit, I'm still like that now, the only difference is that now I embrace my nerdyness. Hell, I'd go as far as to say that I kinda brag about it now...Bwahaha...)


Back then I was likely the farthest thing from 'cool' that there was...

Anyways, I remember when I was going into grade seven, my mom bought me my first pair of button-fly Levi’s. Right off the bat they were my favorite jeans because they were brand new and because they actually had some sort of recognizable brand name attached to them. I loved those jeans, I always felt a strong sense of confidence when I wore them. I think it was because they were all mine, they had never belonged to anyone else before; they were purchased especially to fit my chubby little body!!

Throughout the school year I paired my beautiful button-fly Levi’s with the generic shirts that lined my closet. It wasn't until one day, when Heather (my older sister) brought home this red and white striped 'Guess Jeans' t-shirt that her friend no longer wanted, that I had an especially spectacular outfit to wear to school. I remember being puzzled as to why Heather's friend no longer wanted this beautiful t-shirt with such a prestigious name brand on it.

I seriously couldn't fathom how this girl could so easily throw away such a treasured piece of clothing.

The next morning (after Heather brought that t-shirt home) I remember waking up, and actually looking forward to going to school. -- Call me crazy, but I actually thought that my power-outfit would make me instantly popular with all of the cool kids at school. -- I envisioned walking through the halls in my red and white guess jeans t-shirt and my button-fly Levi’s, being noticed by the cool kids, as a cool kid.

I remember getting dressed that morning, and actually feeling different in that outfit. I carefully applied my poppy red lipstick and added a little bit of dippity-doo gel to my afro-curly hair. I fiddled with the t-shirt a little bit, as I examined myself in Heather's full length mirror, wondering if I should tuck it in, or leave it out.

I tucked the t-shirt in.

I untucked it.

I tucked it in again.

I untucked it again...

After about half an hour of tucking and untucking my red and white striped 'Guess Jeans' t-shirt, I finally settled on tucking it in. I figured that by tucking it in I looked more sophisticated and grown up.

When I got to school that morning, I remember feeling as though I was the coolest and prettiest girl in the whole school; I walked through the junior high entrance with my head held high, waiting for everybody to stop what they were doing and look at me in all of my 'coolness.'

This day was going to be a good day!

I put my coat and my backpack in my locker and decided to saunter down the hallway (as though it was my catwalk) to show the whole junior high world, the new and improved me.

"Damn, I look good," I thought to myself as I walked past all the IB Kids.

Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I see him. -- the most popular boy in grade seven. -- This boy was so cute, and so cool that even the grade eight kids liked him...

"Get ready to shine," I thought, as he walked towards me with his equally cool friend.

I figured that this was my moment. I was sure that he was going to walk past me, and we would exchange a smile or a simple 'hello', which would pave the way for my impending popularity, but instead he started to walk towards me...

"Oh Goodness," I thought, with every step he took. "He's coming this way..."

I took a deep breath and told myself not to get too excited when the cutest boy in grade seven talked to me.

"Here he comes..."

And then it happened...

He -- The cutest, most popular boy in grade seven -- walked right up to me, only a couple of inches from my face and he said:

"You're ugly."


His friend laughed hysterically, as he repeated the insult once or twice more.

I just looked at him; dumbfounded.

With my ego crushed and my face burning with humiliation, I quickly looked down at the floor and slowly started walking away. I tried to save face, and pretended that I didn't notice his cruel remark.

As I walked down the long stretch of hall, I could hear them laughing.

"hahaha -- You’re so ugly!!" They repeated.

I turned the corner at the end of the hallway, and I could still hear them laughing at me.

I was utterly traumatized. This was the worst day of my 13-year-old life!

My 'power-outfit' had failed me miserably and I was now trapped in the grade eight hallway, with only minutes before homeroom was to begin. I opted to take the long way around (through the front, outside, and back to the side door in which I had first come in...) because I didn't want to pass the cutest, most popular (also now also the meanest) boy in seventh grade.

Needless to say, I was late for homeroom, had to walk into class in front of all my seated classmates and received a stern warning for my tardy behaviour.

That was probably one of my most humiliating, traumatic, 'Never Been Kissed' high school moments!! -- Thank goodness I have a thick skin (and a sick sense of humor) and laugh about it every time I think about it now.

Oh, and for the record, I NEVER wore that shirt again!!


  1. I think that grade 7 photo of you is cutie putie.....that little little boy was/is a moron.....for petes sakes, how can he pass up a good thing??

  2. What a dumb jerk. You're far better than he is, and he never deserved you!

    When I was in grade 8, I asked one of the most popular boys in school to slowdance with me at a dance, and he said he couldn't because he was already dancing with someone. Then he started slow dancing by himself. Everyone in the room laughed at me, and I left, humiliated.

  3. Looking back though, aren't these the moments that kind of make us?! -- I laugh every single time I think about this story, or re-tell it to my friend Edgar who ALWAYS wants to hear it...It's my 'Never Been Kissed' moment, and now..."I'M NOT JOSEY GROSSY ANYMORE!!!"

    A few years ago I took a university course with the cutest, most popular guy in grade seven. He had no idea who I was, nor did I have the heart to tell him...We ended up being desk-mates for that class!

  4. They really do kind of make you. I have a sense of humour about that incident, and all of the other things that happened to me growing up, and it's made me a better person. And I saw the jerk about a year and a half ago at the bar, and he started trying to hit on me. I ignored him and walked away.