So this year I finally broke down and did something that many women, including myself, dread; I bought a bathing suit. Yep. I bought myself the cheapest one-piece I could find. (A $14 suit -- on sale from $34 -- at 30 per cent off from Old Navy.)
Last week I went to Old Navy on a mission: I wanted to find a bathing suit that would hold everything in and I didn't even care how it looked. Sure the entire experience of trying on skin tight swim wear is both traumatic and what I would describe as a self-loathing experience, however it was something that needed to be done.
I was brave. I was determined. I was on a roll! In fact, I was shimmying into bathing suits and studying myself in the mirror like nobody's business!
After a daunting lifetime in the change room, I selected a brown bathing suit that met my needs. I wavered for a second about spending my hard earned money on something that makes me look...Well, let's just say that it's not the most flattering thing I own. But, it needed to be done, because I have some serious swimming to attend to with my adorable little "water baby" niece.
Now, I'm not sure if I have become more secure in my own skin, or if reality has finally beat me down, but buying (and wearing) my bathing suit was a sort of liberating experience. I mean yes, I admit that if I was a celebrity I would make the National Enquirer's "Worst beach body" issue. And sure, I am likely not going to attract any boyfriends with my bodacious beach bod, but I don't give a care. (Yes, I said "I don't give a care." I'm bringing that phrase back...)
Wow. There. I said it.
I guess it all comes down to this: I know that I'm never going to be a waif. I have accepted that. In fact, I have come to the realization that and I am sick to death of trying to be a waif. I have, what an ex-boyfriend once called "a little extra love on my bones." (Thank you JP, I prefer that term to all the rest.) Life is way to short to sit and feel sorry for myself because my curves are in all the wrong places. Meh.
THIS CHUBBY MERMAID NEEDS TO SWIM!!!
Anyways, this summer I will be hitting any pool, beach, or water source that I can find in my bathing suit. It might not be pretty -- It might look downright ridiculous -- but I'll probably be having fun.
Screw you bathing suit phobia, I win!
Photo: Courtesy of a blog called: "Fat men of the Sea"