Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The story of the Vancouver Tattoo Fiasco

Christina: "Hey, let's go for pedicures!"

Shelley: "No. I hate pedicures, they hurt."

At this point Shelley and Christina walk by
a tattoo shop on West Broadway and shelley suggests getting a tattoo.

Christina agrees, because she thinks that Shelley
is bluffing. They walk into the shop and Christina
picks out a tattoo of a 1940s puppy. (Betty Boop's
puppy as a matter of fact.) Jimmy, the artist, says that
the picture is ugly and looks for a better one on google.
Christina still thinks that Shelley is bluffing.

Christina is up first.

"This guy is going to be mad once Shelley admits
that she's bluffing," she thinks to herself.

Jimmy puts the outline on Christina's upper thigh
and tells her to look at it. She says no, it's fine.
She thinks that this is all a bluff and that she will
not go through with the tattoo. Jimmy asks
her again to look, reminding her that tattoos are
permanent. She declines again.

He then tells her to get on the table.

Christina still thinks that Jimmy is going to be mad
once the whole thing is called off. She has no intention
of getting a tattoo.

Christina (in her head): "Wow, he is going to be so mad."

Jimmy: "Okay, I am going to start now."

Christina: "Ummm...What?! Oh...Right...Ok..."


Christina is now in what she describes as the worst pain
in her life. She doesn't hide her pain as Jimmy draws the
pudgy little puppy on her leg.

Christina (in her head): "Oh shit. I guess Shelley wasn't bluffing."

And there he is, a cute little thing. Only problem is that
Christina should have looked at the stencil outline before
Jimmy inked her; the cute little dog is on her upper left
thigh, ogling her crotch. Christina says she feels violated.

Shelley's turn!

Shelley: "This is so awesome. It doesn't even hurt!"

Shelley gets a monarch butterfly on her lower back. (And no,
it is not a tramp-stamp! It's off to the left side, and was
supposed to be lower...)

Shelley: "Awesome!"

(Note: Christina was in the back looking at a mirror at her
pervy little puppy. She complained for the next couple of days
about how painful this experience was.)

The End.


  1. Love the photo essay!

    "Lower back," eh? Ha, ha!

  2. It STILL hurts!

    OMG seriously, I would have a thousand babies (like that Duggar woman) instead of getting another tatoo!!*

    *granted I have never had a thousand babies, or one for that matter, but I am assuming it is less pain then a tatoo. COME ON - etching someone's skin with a firey hot inked up needle? Seriously? Worst pain ever! I'm surprises Bush didn't authorize that for Gitmo, I guess he thought water boarding was more humane...