Tuesday, November 24, 2009

D, Dr. Love: Comfort-phobic!

Keeping with my theme of "love" (since I am now the self-professed "doctor" of it an all...) I think it's only fair that I throw some more of my unfounded love-babble out there in the vast abyss of cyberspace.

Why wouldn't you listen to me; I'm thirty, I've "been there, done that", and I even though I am so single that my dad thinks I'm too scared to tell him that I'm secretly gay, I still know my way around a relationship...

(In regards to the whole "gay thing", I'm not, but I guess it doesn't help any that I am in a "Facebook relationship" with a girl from work, I dig rainbows and Outwards Magazine, and my sister/sisters keep telling dear ol' dad that I like the ladies...For the record folks, I like guys.)

Anyways, back to my senseless love-babble...

So my last post, the one where I was pretty much shitting on love, was rather harsh. I say this because, after re-reading it, and reading a very thoughtful comment from a certain young CreComm named Meg, I realized that I should probably reconsider some of my recent musings.

I am not adverse to love; I think love is fantastic! However, since I am (in my opinion) fortunate enough to be, what I am pretty sure is one of the last people of my age demographic who is still childless and single, (Oh the stigma!) I have been able to look at other people's lives, and pick them apart from my lonely little pedestal...

(I interrupt this blog post to bring you a special, breaking news bulletin: as I write this blog entry, the man in the apartment either next to me, or below me is making strange noises that are making me really, really uncomfortable! -- And now, back to your regularly scheduled blog post...)

So back to love, and my absolute judgemental views on other peoples relationships; I don't think that all relationships are bad. I think many of them are, but I have to admit that there are some people who seem to make being "one" with another human being look easy...Appealing even.

Heck, those people make me want to jump on the Plenty-of-Fish/e-harmony bandwagon, and find me a cyber husband that I can do fun couple stuff with too...Nothing says "in the now" more than finding your man on the internet!

That being said, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't still very "pro-single".

I suppose my biggest concern with relationships is that they scare me; I don't like the level of comfort that many people in relationships subscribe to. Farting, gaining weight, not wearing makeup, and unshaven legs (among other things) don't seem like a pleasant way to be with somebody. (Call me old fashioned, but nothing makes me feel more awkward than liking a guy enough to feel comfortable enough to stop shaving my legs...)

I know not everybody gives way to sloppy comfort when they are with somebody, but there are so many folks who do! (I've done it; just ask some the dudes that I've dated previously...It was gross.)

I think at this point in my life I can honestly say that I have become a sort of relationship-challenged coward, afraid of turning into a hairy monster who bitches about her "old man", and stops attempting to look pretty because I feel comfortable enough to let the little things (like shaving my legs) slide...

How do you avoid that kind of thing? Is it inevitable? Is there a way to tell a new boyfriend that farting, and being overly gross with one another is not OK? Am I destined to be alone forever because of my disdain for poor bathroom etiquette, and supreme comfort?

I suppose, since I am still happily single, I don't really need to stress about these kinds of questions until the time comes when I meet a nice young (or old) man that I want to be in a relationship with. However, I need some feedback on this entire "relationship comfort" subject folks, I seem to have more questions than I do answers here...

Comic courtesy of: Natalie Dee

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