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Well 2012, you’ve certainly been a year to remember (Or, in some cases, a time in my life that I’d like to forget.)
The first seven months of the year were, for lack of a better term, shitty. Yet, what came after was unexpected and pleasant.
I found love, and lost it twice; first with something (someone) I never actually knew, but will never forget. Second with someone who, it turns out, I barely ever knew at all. I am a better person for it, but like all heartache, it was trying. (Cryptic, yes, but necessary. I don’t want to share all aspects of my life. Assume what you want.)
My new single status was forced on me, I didn’t see it as the liberation that I appreciate it as now. It was unwanted and foreign; lonely and humbling. I felt abandoned, empty, and deceived, yet it forced me to change the things about myself that I didn’t particularly like but settled with for so long.
Looking back, the death of my dysfunctional relationship was a lucky break because I now realize that I was trying to commit to something and someone that never quite fit. He (and it) were like that dress that looks great on a hanger, but are neither flattering or comfortable. Not for me anyway. It also gave me a clean slate and the opportunity to create a new adventure for myself. (And to shop around for new dresses that are more my style. Window shop anyway...)
I am not the same woman I was when 2012 started, and for that I am grateful.
The latter part of the year was rich in new experiences and new friends. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun, nor can I remember a time in my life when my confidence was as stable and as high as it is now. I am happy.
I don’t want to romanticize my life, because of course I have struggles. Daily ones. In fact, I have failed at so many things in the last year that I’ve lost count. I continue to fail at things, but rather than dwell on my shortcomings I’m trying to learn from them. Sometimes my failures hurt and sometimes they’re a source of amusement. Either way, there is always a lesson or two buried in my mistakes. Lucky for me, I make enough of them in my life to confidently say that I will never stop learning.
I am most grateful for the people in my life. I surround myself with quality folks, and 2012 certainly brought out the best in my friendships. I have never believed more in love and in the goodness of people, because I have experienced a great deal of it this year.
While I have no clue what 2013 will bring, I hope it will be as enriching as the latter part of 2012. I have no resolutions (No immediate ones anyway, I prefer to make mine all year long) but I have aspirations and goals going forward.
With that, I happily walk away from the past and look forward to what the future holds.
Happy New Year.