The Village Throws the Best 5th Birthday Party Of All!

My daughter's fifth birthday was last Saturday.

We had been planning for, and looking forward to this big day for so long. This year was a milestone. she turned five-years-old. A whole hand! It seemed like a big deal, and we intended to treat it as such.

The plan, initially, was to throw a "real" birthday party with her preschool friends. We rented out the community centre by our house and planned to have a "queen puppy" themed shindig with a disco ball, rock 'n' roll music and a piñata. We talked about it often, and she was so excited. 

And then COVID hit and the world started to lock down.

In the midst of a global pandemic, a five-year-old's birthday party is relatively unimportant. There are bigger things to be concerned with, like trying to stay healthy by staying home and practicing social distancing, especially when uncertainty and sickness are looming. But, in the same breath, it is important. It was important to her, and important to us, no matter how miniscule it is in the grand scheme of things. It mattered, and I felt so bad that I had talked up her party, only to take it all back and completely change the celebration.

Kids are resilient though. My mom guilt outlasted her disappointment. 

Her dad I explained to her that we would have a special birthday with just our immediate family in our house. We would have cake, and her favourite macaroni. We'd rent the new Trolls movie, and she could even help picking an extra special gift online-- A duty that thrilled her.

It wasn't the birthday we'd planned for. I was scared that it wouldn't be enough, and then the most amazing thing started happening... 

People started showing up for her.

Both of my sisters, my nieces, our friend Marie and my parents all showed up outside our house at different times of the day to bring gifts and birthday greetings from the step. They arrived with their signs, sparklers, balloons and gifts.

Grandma Facetimed from BC, and patiently watched Riel eat her lunch and talk about her giant LOL Surprise doll gift. Our friend Michelle sent specially picked gifts through the mail, and my stepkids' mom Donna dropped the kids off for our pandemic-style family party, even though it was her day to have them.

Ace Burpee made a short birthday video for Riel. My friend Melanie, made birthday cutouts to stick on the window. My friend Barbara dropped off a beautifully painted Louis Riel rock, and one of the mom's from two of Riel's preschool friends reached out and asked if we'd like to FaceTime. The director of Riel's daycare reached out over email to wish her a happy birthday, and share a picture of her own daughter who shared the same birthday.

Numerous people, many of whom who have never even met my kid, sent her birthday wishes over social media. 

The day was sprinkled, like confetti, with all of these small but super meaningful and thoughtful gestures. 

Then our family-- my parents, sisters, nieces, and my Aunt Rose, along with Chris's mom and her partner John gathered together over a video chat to sing a very out of tune rendition of Happy Birthday and watch Riel blow out her candle.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and our village came through in a big way on this day. People went out of their way to make sure Riel's fifth birthday was special, and to show her that even if we couldn't all be together, they would be there for her. They did their hardest to make sure that she knew she was loved and important, and they helped give her one of the best birthdays -- maybe the best birthday -- she has had to date.

Thanks to everyone who showed up. That was the greatest gift of all.

The layoff notice...

I got laid off a few days ago.

It's a temporary layoff, but it feels crushing.

My situation isn't unlike so many other peoples. There are so many of us who woke up this morning in this weird, almost alternate universe, where this virus is spreading, our jobs have been temporarily suspended, and all aspects of life have changed and are changing drastically. We need to adapt to a this new normal. Less responsibility seems really heavy under these circumstances.

I am hanging my hat on the word 'temporary,' and the notion that life will go back to normal, or whatever the post pandemic version of normal will be. The mass layoffs and closures, the anxiety and fear of looming worst case scenarios, and this invisible sickness are all perishable. Amidst the chaos there is hope.

It will end or change eventually. If losing my job temporarily is the worst thing that will happen to me by the end of this pandemic, then I'll count myself as lucky.

I figured a layoff was coming given the near complete shutdown of our province. I didn't know when, and I had hoped that it wouldn't, but it was looming. I thought I would be prepared for if and when it did happen. I didn't expect to feel such sadness. It seems foolish or overreactionary, but I spent two days teedering from being fine to weeping and not understanding exactly why.

Not all feelings are logical, and not all of them make sense.

Perhaps the job loss is an easier thing to feel sad about than the giant mass of uncertainty that is causing this shift. It's somewhat tangible and concise, and it even has a direction that I can focus my emotions at. Perhaps it was the realization that my I had let my job become so deeply ingrained in who I am. I let it become a huge part of my identity, and losing it felt like I was losing a part of myself.

I saw the job more as something I owned than something I do.

There is both grief and comfort in knowing that we are all in this together. So far it's still early for us. Manitoba has only just been touched, while other places around the world are reeling and plagued with infection. It will get worse before it gets better, and the outcome relies on how seriously the population is heeding the advice to stay home and practice social and physical distancing.

Isolation is a luxury, albeit tedious at times.

Perhaps a bonus of being unemployed during this time is that it will restore other parts of my life. For nearly four years I've felt like life was bursting at the seams as I tried to juggle being a working mom. While the circumstances aren't ideal, this situation may give me a little bit of breathing room and allow to be a better mom. We'll actually have time to read an extra story, go for that bike ride, or play that game...

I hope amid all of this, there are silver linings for all of us.

Stay safe.