Pandemic

I guess now is as good a time as any to start writing again.

The entire world is in the midst of a pandemic, and I am not sure how to deal with or react to the uncertainty of it all. I've lived through pandemics before, but my privilege and proximity (perhaps?) always shielded me from the affects. I have never experienced one like COVID-19 where isolation and fear are so rampant and toilet paper is so scarce.

Pandemic in the age of social media means the bombardment of information is a lot to digest. It is constant, and it ranges from hilarious to apocalyptic. Right now it seems like we're all just waiting for  a big ball to drop. At least that's how I feel.

What a strange and fascinating time to be alive.

Businesses and schools are closing down and people are being told to be mindful of social distance and self isolate themselves to flatten the curve and slow the spread. The devastation that has happened in places like China, Iran and Italy seem like out of a movie. It doesn't seem real. Social media gives voice to regular people, like me, to share their experience, their fears, and their warnings.

Some of these accounts have been utterly terrifying.

Then, there are other voices. People who aren't afraid or haven't gotten sick. People who have gotten sick and who got better. People who are defying what the experts are saying and who are going on about their lives as though nothing is happening and a sickness isn't seeping in.

I'm not sure about everyone else, but I am really struggling to figure out my feelings about it all. I keep wondering if I am overreacting or under-reacting. I can't make up my mind about it.

Am I scared? Yes, but I'm not so much afraid of getting sick. I'm afraid of this cloud of uncertainty looming over all of us, apart from this sickness. I don't remember living through anything like this before, where everything came to a halt and we have been advised as a society to keep to ourselves. I'm apprehensive of life after COVID, namely the economic impact it will have.

It seems surreal, and I keep playing it in my head like a movie or TV show.

Narrator: The pandemic was coming. Seeping in on the cold March night, in Winnipeg Manitoba. The centre of Canada. But she didn't listen. Nobody did. Life went on until it came to a crashing halt. Until the sickness grabbed hold of her and ahold of everyone around her. Was the the apocalypse? Was this really how it was going to end?

*Dramatic music and b-roll*

People have bought up insane amounts of toilet paper and sanitizer, preparing for quarantine, or perhaps the end of humanity. Costco and Superstore are the hottest spots in the city, with people spent the weekend lining up all the way around the respective buildings and filling their carts with hoards and hoards of food.

Lord help me, please let me get through this time with enough toilet paper and patience for my children who are on a super-duper extended weekend. I have always grocery shopped like we were moving into a bunker, so I have lots of pantry food. That said, I am not sure that one can ever have enough chips for an isolation period.

It's hard not to become consumed in it. It's hard to not panic and think of worst case scenarios, and then share them with your loved ones or on social media. It's hard to manage your reactions. Uncertainty is scary, especially when it involves so many people.

I think we will be ok. I think we need to take this seriously, and listen to the experts, and ride out this wave knowing that we're all in this together and that it'll be ok.

Wash your hands!