Sunday, May 3, 2020

Pandemic babies

The other day I was thinking about the people who have just had babies. Pandemic babies, hunkered down in their homes, while anxious family members wait to meet their newest. I remember having my daughter, and wanting to present her to the world by holding her up the way Mufasa did to Simba in the Lion King. It was a long running joke between Chris and I, because it seemed so over the top, but that's how I felt. I was beaming. I was proud, and I wanted to present my greatest love and accomplishment to the entire world.

I'm sorry for anyone who longs for the same, but can't. Somewhere inside of this all, there is a good lesson or experience. I think.

But, that silver lining or whatever it's called doesn't take away from the fact that it's hard and it sucks.

Exhausted new parents are having to navigate a whole new way of life without hands-on help. The village is virtual, and none of them even fathomed that a physically empty, virtual only village was an option when they found out they were going to be parents. How could they have?

This pandemic rewrote the plan.

Becoming new parents can already be a super insulating experience. Afterall, not only is a baby born, but a mother and father are born too. It's hard. It's gritty, and it's something that you can't quit, even when it's unforgiving or you just feel like it. Sometimes it's not easy to see through the fog of it all. Even though there is a nearly year-long wait to welcome a baby, it's nearly impossible to prepare for being a first time parent.

If you have any new mom and dad friends, check in on them.

Perhaps I am equating too much of my own feelings into this. Maybe there are other new parents out there who relish in the fact that they don't have to share their new baby with the world just yet. Maybe the isolation has some merit. I hope that's the case, and I hope more people are feeling like that., than feeling abandoned.

In any event, whatever the case, for what it's worth, to all of the new parents who are navigating your new life during this panmenic, I see you and your struggles mom and dad. It's hard and you are doing better than you think you are.

Long after this is over and the world resumes into some kind of normalcy, whatever that looks like, your babies will be the pandemic babies. They'll regale people with stories about how they were born in the middle of a world-wide lockdown. They will tell their kids, and their grandkids and it will sound almost unbelievable, like a myth.

It's a weird time for everyone, but especially for those who are navigating through a whole new way of life.

Perhaps this new isolated reality and my current unemployment will allow me to breathe new life into motherhood, myself. Maybe, in the midst of all this I can find some rays of light and nuggets of gold. I've only ever had a year of being a mom that didn't feel like it was completely bursting at the seams. Maybe more time with my kids is my silver lining.

Who knows. I suppose perspective is key.

New parents, you are doing amazing. Better than you think.

Check in on your friends. More than anything right now, we need one another.

**PHOTO/Sunny S-H Photography, April 2015